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Tips on divorcing an alcoholic

Deciding to file for divorce could be one of the most difficult decisions that you will ever have to make. This will be especially true when divorcing an addict. You may have tried for years to help them to face their addiction and go through recovery. By filing for divorce, you may feel a huge sense of failure or guilt. But it is important that you look out for the well-being of yourself and your children first.

Divorcing an alcoholic can be particularly challenging, not least because of the internal battles that you may be facing. Your divorcing spouse may make the divorce process even more difficult because of their addiction, and this could have a profound effect on your ability to move on and create a new life. The following are some tips that could help you manage the divorce process better.

Study finds breath tests unreliable

There are two basic types of breath tests that the police use: portable breath tests, which don't often get used in court as evidence, and Breathalyzers, which operate at the police station and usually do get used as evidence.

Either way, the goal of the device is to determine what your Blood Alcohol Concentration looks like at the time. If it's over 0.08%, that means you broke the legal limit and are presumed impaired by that intoxication. That can lead to a DUI conviction.

Eyewitnesses are unreliable

After an arrest, you find yourself heading to court. The prosecution claims to have eyewitnesses from the scene of the crime. These witnesses say they saw you there and they think they can put you away for the alleged illegal activity.

You know that the jury often listens to eyewitnesses, especially when they are impartial. They're just people who happened to be there at the time, so they're honestly trying to explain what happened.

How aggressive should you be in your divorce?

You and your spouse decide to get divorced. It's not a good scene. Things have been going south for some time, but you're really on bad terms now that you have decided to end your marriage.

You worry that your spouse is going to try to "win" the divorce out of spite. Maybe they'll try to get more of the assets or get more time with the kids -- or cut you out of the children's lives entirely.

Marriage myths that can lead to divorce

A lot of divorce cases stem from the basic fact that someone's expectations did not get met in the marriage. At times, this is the fault of their spouse, but the reality is that many issues come from unrealistic expectations based on marriage myths. People believe something about marriage that is not true, and then, when their own marriage naturally cannot give it to them, they decide to get divorced.

A few examples of these myths include:

  • Marriages follow the same steps as a sort of "universal path." For instance, people get married, buy a house, start a family, etc. The truth, of course, is that there are many paths and no two relationships have to follow the same course.
  • A good spouse already knows what you want. In actuality, no one can read someone else's mind. No matter how well you know each other, without solid communication, you and your spouse will sometimes fail to offer exactly what the other person is looking for.
  • Marriage does not take work. People seem to think only of the positive sides of marriage, as if it should all be as easy as it felt on your honeymoon. The truth, though, is that marriage is challenging and it does take work.
  • You and your spouse need to always agree. While connecting on major issues can help you, the reality is that you can have some significant differences. If you expect your spouse to agree with you all of the time, you are in for a surprise.
  • You will feel closer and happier after having children. Yes, children can be a blessing and you will love them, but don't assume it only makes you closer. It changes your roles in the family as you become parents. Kids also bring stress into a relationship. If things are not working, having kids is not going to fix it.

Can a police officer order you to get out of a vehicle?

You get pulled over and arrested for a DUI. During the traffic stop, the police officer orders you to exit the vehicle. You do not want to do it, but you think you do not have any choice, so you get out. That's when the officer observes that you appear intoxicated and makes the arrest.

After the fact, you start wondering just how legal that was. Can an officer tell you that you have to get out of the car, or does that violate your rights?

What happens when someone refuses to pay child support?

In an ideal world, child support payments get made on time, every time, and they help a child have a healthy, happy life after a divorce. That child has the same financial opportunities they would have had before their parents split up. They get all of their basic needs covered. In divorce, the court always puts the children first.

The reality, though, is that it does not always go that smoothly. In some cases, parents refuse to pay child support, despite the court order telling them that they have to do so. They ignore their obligations and make life much harder for the children.

DUI issues you may not have considered

Getting a DUI in Colorado is no joke. You may have to go to classes or a DUI program. You may lose your license. You may have to pay fines and fees. You could spend time behind bars. At the very least, you will get arrested the night that the police stop you for driving under the influence.

These are all of the ramifications that people traditionally think of when considering drunk driving. However, even these things do not go far enough. Here are a few more ways a DUI could impact your life that you may not have considered before:

Reasons for divorce: Your red flags

You do not want your spouse's request for a divorce to come as a surprise. You're far better off if you can spot the red flags in advance and begin to prepare for the split before it becomes official. If nothing else, you can simply get your head around the idea of ending your marriage so that you're ready to start looking into the legal steps you need to take and the rights that you have.

So, how do you know if that divorce is coming? What red flags do you want to look for? It can help to know why people tend to break off their marriages, so here are some of the most common reasons:

Post-divorce parental relocation: Good faith reasons to move

Moving gets difficult after divorce, at least when you have children with your ex. If you both have a right to see the kids under the court-ordered child custody arrangement, then moving may violate your ex's rights.

For instance, perhaps your ex has the right to see the kids for dinner twice during the week, along with their living with your ex every other weekend. If you both live in Greeley, that's not all that hard to coordinate. If you decide to move to Salt Lake City or Chicago, though, it becomes impossible. Even a closer move within Colorado -- moving to Denver or Boulder, for instance -- can make it far more difficult. If your ex does not drive or has limited funds, a move of almost any distance can prove problematic.

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