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Greeley Law Blog

Marriage myths that can lead to divorce

A lot of divorce cases stem from the basic fact that someone's expectations did not get met in the marriage. At times, this is the fault of their spouse, but the reality is that many issues come from unrealistic expectations based on marriage myths. People believe something about marriage that is not true, and then, when their own marriage naturally cannot give it to them, they decide to get divorced.

A few examples of these myths include:

  • Marriages follow the same steps as a sort of "universal path." For instance, people get married, buy a house, start a family, etc. The truth, of course, is that there are many paths and no two relationships have to follow the same course.
  • A good spouse already knows what you want. In actuality, no one can read someone else's mind. No matter how well you know each other, without solid communication, you and your spouse will sometimes fail to offer exactly what the other person is looking for.
  • Marriage does not take work. People seem to think only of the positive sides of marriage, as if it should all be as easy as it felt on your honeymoon. The truth, though, is that marriage is challenging and it does take work.
  • You and your spouse need to always agree. While connecting on major issues can help you, the reality is that you can have some significant differences. If you expect your spouse to agree with you all of the time, you are in for a surprise.
  • You will feel closer and happier after having children. Yes, children can be a blessing and you will love them, but don't assume it only makes you closer. It changes your roles in the family as you become parents. Kids also bring stress into a relationship. If things are not working, having kids is not going to fix it.

Can a police officer order you to get out of a vehicle?

You get pulled over and arrested for a DUI. During the traffic stop, the police officer orders you to exit the vehicle. You do not want to do it, but you think you do not have any choice, so you get out. That's when the officer observes that you appear intoxicated and makes the arrest.

After the fact, you start wondering just how legal that was. Can an officer tell you that you have to get out of the car, or does that violate your rights?

What happens when someone refuses to pay child support?

In an ideal world, child support payments get made on time, every time, and they help a child have a healthy, happy life after a divorce. That child has the same financial opportunities they would have had before their parents split up. They get all of their basic needs covered. In divorce, the court always puts the children first.

The reality, though, is that it does not always go that smoothly. In some cases, parents refuse to pay child support, despite the court order telling them that they have to do so. They ignore their obligations and make life much harder for the children.

DUI issues you may not have considered

Getting a DUI in Colorado is no joke. You may have to go to classes or a DUI program. You may lose your license. You may have to pay fines and fees. You could spend time behind bars. At the very least, you will get arrested the night that the police stop you for driving under the influence.

These are all of the ramifications that people traditionally think of when considering drunk driving. However, even these things do not go far enough. Here are a few more ways a DUI could impact your life that you may not have considered before:

Reasons for divorce: Your red flags

You do not want your spouse's request for a divorce to come as a surprise. You're far better off if you can spot the red flags in advance and begin to prepare for the split before it becomes official. If nothing else, you can simply get your head around the idea of ending your marriage so that you're ready to start looking into the legal steps you need to take and the rights that you have.

So, how do you know if that divorce is coming? What red flags do you want to look for? It can help to know why people tend to break off their marriages, so here are some of the most common reasons:

Post-divorce parental relocation: Good faith reasons to move

Moving gets difficult after divorce, at least when you have children with your ex. If you both have a right to see the kids under the court-ordered child custody arrangement, then moving may violate your ex's rights.

For instance, perhaps your ex has the right to see the kids for dinner twice during the week, along with their living with your ex every other weekend. If you both live in Greeley, that's not all that hard to coordinate. If you decide to move to Salt Lake City or Chicago, though, it becomes impossible. Even a closer move within Colorado -- moving to Denver or Boulder, for instance -- can make it far more difficult. If your ex does not drive or has limited funds, a move of almost any distance can prove problematic.

Eyewitnesses may not remember events properly

If you're facing criminal charges, the case may rest on the testimony of a witness. Maybe they claim that they saw you fleeing from the scene, and you match the description given to police officers. Even if you deny involvement, the jury may assume you're lying and that the witness is telling the truth.

It sounds like a bulletproof case for the opposition. If someone remembers seeing you there and has no reason to lie -- they did not even know you before the event -- then the jury trusts that memory. But should they?

Be warned: Divorce does not cancel your debt

During your divorce, you and your ex split up some pretty serious debts, along with your assets. You divide credit card debt down the middle. You take the car and agree to pay off the loan. Your ex, meanwhile, takes the house. You still have a mortgage on it, but your ex agrees to keep things simple and just make those payments.

You move into your own apartment and start your own life in Greeley. Two years later, you've put that time in your life behind you. You're dating again, you have your own place to live and you're moving forward with your career. Everything seems to be going well. You even paid off that car loan and the credit card debt, so you have some financial freedom.

Financial tips to help you through a divorce

Divorce gives you plenty to think about, and a lot of it is financial. How can you protect your wealth? What will you have left after the split? What is your ex going to get? What are the tax implications? The questions go on and on.

It's stressful. You already have enough to think about with the end of a romantic relationship and potentially changing roles with your kids. You have to put these things first. Don't let the financial side of the divorce feel overwhelming.

You don't actually know how drunk you are

If you talk to people about drunk driving, you'll hear a common refrain: "I'd never get behind the wheel if I was too drunk to drive."

There's a problem here, however. The idea is good, but it's based on the premise that you can take stock of how drunk you are when you leave the bar, the party or just your house. You can then decide if it's safe to drive or not. If it's not, you can find another ride.

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